Wild Geese - Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Shame - anxiety. It is never done. There is always more. And we do so much to avoid this feeling. It is the yuck, the blech. The crawl into a deep hole kind of feeling. And it can arise with the simplest of things - saying something not quite the way you wanted to. Over-dressing for a party. Ugh.
This poem is such a great antidote to shame - it fits with “Delight” and asks us just to love what we love. “You don’t have to be good”, says Mary Oliver, and by implication, all you need is to “be”, in no particular way. Ah, were that true. Those inner voices, inner critics strive to tell us otherwise. Delight is such a good, nourishing way to turn them off.
Which brings me to another practice -
LISTENING TO MY OWN WORDS
I have lots of words that roll through my head. So many good ideas, such deep insights. I don’t remember most of them. What good is all this inner wisdom if I forget?!
Also, not so great words sometimes. Words kept in the dark, barely shared with myself.
I was recently advised to actually listen TO MY OWN WORDS. Huh? Says I. Listen to my own words? Even those not so great voices?
Yes, all the words…it is how we know ourselves.
What I noticed, though, is that there are some words - words that arise spontaneously, without thought but from deep within. THOSE are the words to listen to.
There is a quality of those words, or thoughts, that is clear, and often unbidden. It is focused, deep, memorable. The tonal quality is different. It carries AUTHORITY (no, please, I do not mean to say I am an authority - only that the words carry a TRUTH - whether for us, or for those around us). They come more slowly, yet without thoughts in between. There is no questioning those words.
Harken back to my last season writing on presence. Presence is needed for this quality to emerge. But I gotta say, I am not always in touch with this presence, and often not consciously (though, as you recall, I’m working on that!). Mindfulness. Awareness.
It may require us to get closer to self, to seek inwards. To slow down. It can be a bit frightening to slow down, to shine light on the shadows. It requires some courage I suppose, but more, a sense of safety. And finding safety is no easy task. Yet, the rewards are tremendous. To trust our words and recognize our truth. It’s a feedback loop too - the more we feel that, the safer we feel. But I don’t think we can get there alone. I needed help, and lot’s of it. And that was hard cuz I DO NOT like asking for help. I’m sure I’m not alone here (raise your hands my fellow self sufficient, I do it myself types out there!)
That’s where this work I am offering comes in. It is supportive. A gentle turn towards. It follows your own system, trusts how YOU are organized with the belief that our SOMA (body system) is the way to our TRUTH, and will let us know through subtle and sometimes not so subtle messages, where to direct our attention. What is in that hand gesture that you so often use when describing a struggle? What is the message behind that leg the shakes whenever you try speak of challenge? That sick feeling that accompanies the thought of conflict. The work of somatic inquiry turns us - with the help of another - towards those messages coming from and stored within the soma. It asks us to listen, slowly, at the rate right for you. And gently, as we un-cover those little bits of information, those messages, we can then learn to better hear, voice and listen to our own truth. To know what is right for you, or what needs to be said, To find strength, security, groundedness. Not all of the time, more of the time. Not perfectly, more setting the rudder the way our deep inner self knows to be right. To listen to our authentic self - our soul call. Guiding us towards the stars we seek.
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